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Sun, Aug. 21st, 2005, 12:07 pm

Marc is young
Marc is a very attractive *YOUNG* guy
and we were just supposed to hang out at the beach or watch movies or whatever
when we were bored...
whatever you know...
He had a girlfriend shortly after we met which was great...didn't have to have that worry about anything
but they broke up
and one night he asked me what I was doing
I told me me, sabrena, and greg were all going to watch a movie and hang out you know
just bullshit and watch movies
well he wanted to know all about greg..
which I found a bit off to begin with
but, you know I said just a friend
and he went on and on about was I fucking him...
wow weird
then the text messages started
and the calls...
and he hasn't stopped
that boy is not right...
so now I have this 20 yr old to try and deal with..
wtf is up with that..
telling me he never wants to talk to me again
(which I was like cool)
then he calls and says come on lets go hang out
and after the weird shit with greg I asked him
what the hell was that all about
what is your problem
are you crazy?

To which he tells me, I was just trying to see if I could fight with you about something, I was bored...
I mean I could understand if I had made it seem like we were ever going to be more than what we are, or you know in a moment of weakness fucked him, but none of that happened, I have never even tried to do anything with him
and he hasn't with me either
I haven't even kissed him
so what the hell is that all about

So yesterday, he sends me a text message, while I was driving asking me if I wanted to go to the beach, I was driving on the seawall so I looked out at the gulf, and I thought hmm maybe, but then I seen the blue flag and decided againist, but I was on my way to Wal-Mart..blah..and I forgot he had sent me a text at all by the time I got the hell out of there, fucking saturday's at walmart on the island...never a good idea...EVER!
So Greg and I was sitting around last night and I get a text, it was marc, all it said was eat shit and die...
all I could say was..he has some serious issues...
Greg, said well for someone that has never met me, and I have never met him...he is a bit off Laura. Then he went on and on about Stalkers and P.O.'s
I feel like Neville Longbottom, like why does all this shit happen to me?

Tue, Aug. 9th, 2005, 12:26 am

why is missy in my room and why is it that she has taken a liking to my pillow?
Nog just left my room
and I havent' seen my cat in hours...
when did my room become the cat hang out
Guess they liked the way I arranged my room too

Sat, Jul. 10th, 2004, 12:23 am
for Casey

I wish I were awake at the moment to say something halfway intelligent.
{Babble follows}
Sometimes, people drift away; you can sit and wonder what happened to them, come up with all sorts of mishaps or happy tales but in the end you just never know where they went or why. 35 weeks ago, you wrote about being Happy, about the last time you could remember it anyway, where have you gone? My funny lolavalentin?  I often wonder if you are ok, or if you are alive even.
I need you to know that I miss and love you for the wonderful person you are, and the wonderful person you will continue to be over time.

Our passage in this world may not leave a huge mark somewhere for others to see, but in our own memories we are infamous.

I love and miss you honey


Tue, Jun. 29th, 2004, 11:17 am
and then there was....

So, I am here at Krista's
I am dating someone.
I don't know how to do this anymore.
He is a good man.
I really don't know what to do with one of those.
He, was talking about moving me to Hawaii cause I love the beach.
what a strange man.
its all about me.
All about me.
how can that be?

Sun, Mar. 7th, 2004, 03:18 pm

I had a night invaded by weird dreams.
This included alot of sex.
alot of Dave
too much of other people
who are these people to invade my dreams

I listened to a song today which reminded me of the times Dave called me Rebecca

Tue, Apr. 8th, 2003, 04:24 pm

so he came over last night.
it was so amazing.
He didn't leave until 11:30pm and I did not go to sleep until after midnight. of course this would be the day I get a call from work at 5am to come in ick.
but it was wonderful.
He is amazing.

Tall, Dark and SEXY.
isnt' that what all women are supposed to want?
well he isn't that dark really.
but he is very tall
yep very sexy as well.
ah damn I wish I had more time to write about this.
he was simply amazing.

Sat, Dec. 28th, 2002, 12:47 am

yeah so I've lost it.
I'm so glad the new year is coming.
I just want this one to end.
I just want it all to stop.
I'm just tired of this year.

Sat, Nov. 30th, 2002, 01:46 pm
ah and my weekend progresses.

So let me see.
Holly and I went and picked up Amanda and Brea.
We stopped along the way and I met Amanda's Boyfriend
eh he was quite but what is he gonna say to me anyway...
So we got home and Brea and Tristan stayed here and
Holly, Amanda, and I went to Joellen's house we ate until we couldn't move
which was fun
came home and the phone kept ringing LATE at night with some serious crazies...
The first guy said he was from Taco Mayo in Shawnee saying that I owed them money
This convo was pretty fucking funny since I don't know anyone in Shawnee.
Well that isn't fair I know people there but nobody I speak with cause they are all insane.

So anyway two more calls the last one was for Holly which was very disturbing.
Holly and I finally came to the conclusion that it was all Maria..
our friendly neighborhood stalker.
its so nice to have one.
I had forgotten how crazy it was to have a stalker since Paul died and Holly was missing all the action of that stalking so now we have a shared stalker.
what fun.

Then Yesterday we just hung out and watched movies...All of us
then last night we went out.
Holly, Brian, and Myself
what a fucking flash back that was
it was insane
how does a straight guy think he is gonna get pussy in a gay bar is beyond me
I didn't understand that one at all
Anyway we watched the queen's of comedy this morning then Dad came by and swooped up Holly so now it is just me and the kids...
I am still so confused about having kids here that aren't mine..
Not important.

Tue, Nov. 19th, 2002, 02:23 am
Madness from the idiot

I have started hiding.
Hiding from my own Journal.
it feel so impersonal now.
not this one
my main one
gods it is beyond stupid
I have this one I made for quizzes and bullshit but now it is more real than my *real* one
why is that.
I could just delete all my friends and then I wouldn't have that problem
what is wrong with me
I think I just don't want everyone to know things
just a few people
which is all I have here
I think this makes me happy
I think it feels safer maybe, I dunno

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